


손실

by cafespjw (orphan_account)



Category: ASTRO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Tragedy, Humor, I am really sorry, M/M, Zombie Apocalypse, Zombies, only a lil bit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-28
Updated: 2018-05-28
Packaged: 2019-05-05 21:57:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14627853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/cafespjw
Summary: ”It’s almost like we’re on a date.” He remarked, opting for a mocking tone. Moonbin snapped out of his gaze, a furrow returning to his brow as he replied.”WellI amthe romantic type.”





	손실

**Author's Note:**

> tw// suicide, blood, gore
> 
> if you are sensitive to these things i suggest you don't read !! this fic is kinda gritty so,, keep that in mind as you go.

_**"** Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live **"**_

**— Norman Cousins**

 

 

The quarantine zone initiative was set in 2020 to keep people safe, to keep people alive; but instead they feel as rats, trapped within a cage.

 

This is how Moonbin would look upon the dregs of people wading through trash that painted the streets like a Picasso painting. It was dismal, soldiers positioned on the top of buildings seeming akin to hawks, seeking prey. People walked with a hunch in their back, afraid to antagonise those meant to be their protectors. The rations collection point was closed, it likely wouldn’t open all day, yet people still queued, hoping not to starve.

 

He took a swig from his whiskey bottle - it was six in the morning.

 

Minhyuk paced back and forth behind him, chewing his fingernails. It was a bad habit he’d had ever since Moonbin had known him. If he could be pursuaded to show his concern he might try to put an end Minhyuk’s habit, again, if he could be pursuaded.

 

”Want some?” He asked the fretting boy.

 

Minhyuk looked up at him as he turned away from the window. Grey light casted a ghastly shadow on Moonbin’s face highlighting bruises and scars he’d gained over the years. Minhyuk recounted the scar on his forehead, four uniform dots, from when Minhyuk had tried to kill him with a fork.

 

”No I don’t... want some.” He replied with hesitance and continued his pacing. Moonbin decided to indulge him for once.

 

”Alright, what’s the run-down?” Minhyuk visibly lit up at this, excited to relay his scheme.

 

”It’s a simple pick-up, some family that wants to get in on the inside.” He was animated as he spoke, enthusiasm on his features, “I have the papers forged and everything.” An afterthought, but necessary to gain Moonbin’s favour.

 

”We don’t smuggle _people,_ Minhyuk, you know this.” Moonbin sighed, placing the whiskey bottle firmly on his table.

 

”Not under usual circumstances we wouldn’t, but these circumstances aren’t... usual”

 

This piqued Moonbin’s interest, Minhyuk knew their rules as well as anyone, no smuggling anything _alive_ , so the reward these people are offering must be persuading.

 

”How many ration cards?” Moonbin asked with a sigh. Minhyuk smirked at this, as though he had been waiting for this question.

 

”Oh ho, my friend - we’re not talking ration cards here, we’re talking guns, ammunition, _defence_.” He looked proud at his statement and confidently met eyes with Moonbin.

 

”That’s... interesting.” Bin considered the job. Scales in his mind piling on the risk and reward. A new gun would be nice, although his revolver was trustworthy a severe lack of heavier firearms were part of his arsenal. 

 

“Is your supplier for real? Do they actually have them?” Moonbin asked. Although, he had made up his mind already and slung his backpack around his shoulder while quickly checking how many bullets he had. Four, not nearly enough.

 

”What? Do you not trust me?” Minhyuk said with a smile, realising Moonbin’s decision. Smiling with the same mischievous glint, Moonbin replied:

 

”I’ve learned not to.”

 

-

 

It smelt like shit, but Bin didn’t expect anything less. It had rained last night so all the trash and blood had mixed together creating a disgusting odour that covered the city. The quarantine zone streets were coated with missing persons posters, the ink on them had faded with the rain and they were hardly legible.

 

Minhyuk walked with a spring in his step. His mildly short stature was imbued with energy at Bin’s presence and he seemed unbothered by the horrible conditions the quarantine zone was in. They rounded the corner away from Moonbin’s apartment and were presented with the scorched windows of the building opposite. This was new.

 

”Soldiers raided Minho’s complex last night over some infected report, fucking purged the place, burnt it to the ground.” Minhyuk caught onto Moonbin’s thoughts and answered his question before he had chance to ask it. Minho was a good friend, another Korean among hoards of gun-heavy Americans, he hoped the son of a bitch made it out alive.

“You were passed out, drunk again. Probably didn’t hear shit.”

 

Moonbin tried not to dwell on the thoughts of burning flesh and scorched brick, so he averted his eyes to the damp ground as they passed the building.

 

Minhyuk led him through the maze of alleyways and high fences with precision. They had made this trip many times before; artillery was prohibited in the quarantine zone so leaving by the gates was a death wish, instead they opted for a tunnel that led through long abandoned sewage pipes that ran under the walls.

 

Minhyuk stopped at the entrance (a hole in the ground) and bowed in mock respect, muttering a “m’lady” as Moonbin passed him. Bin scoffed and hopped down into the pit.

 

-

 

It never failed to amaze him how beautiful the outside was. Within the walls it was concrete jungles, the potent smell of blood and filth that lined the streets. Whereas outside, nature had reclaimed what was rightfully hers and the landscape was painted in rich shade of green. Ivy climbed up brickwork effortlessly and tall grasses carpeted the floor.

 

Moonbin breathed in the fresh air deeply, and exhaled in content.

 

Minhyuk followed him out the sewers presently, spluttering slightly as he covered their exit and tried not to inhale the foul stench the sewers emitted. Minhyuk then caught Moonbin like this: eyes closed, chin slightly upturned, his facial muscles relaxed completely. He admired him in this state, a moment where all the baggage he knew Bin was carrying dropped from his shoulders. A moment where he was at peace amongst the crumbling remains of a broken country. Minhyuk smiled softly, a fleeting thought crossed his mind, and he quickly dismissed it.

 

”It’s almost like we’re on a date.” He remarked, opting for a mocking tone. Moonbin snapped out of his gaze, a furrow returning to his brow as he replied.

 

”Well I _am_ the romantic type.” He replied with a drawl, it was only half of a joke.

 

They waded through tall grasses and stubbed their toes on uneven ground. Minhyuk led, Moonbin admiring the surroundings. In contrast to inside the walls puddles here were full with clear water, and the damp ground emitted the scent of warm soil and greenery. The chirping of birds distracted Moonbin’s turbulent mind momentarily.

 

” _F_ _uck_ , the fucking- ladder’s gone, Jesus.” Minhyuk interrupted his tranquility.

 

”Oh, no - that was good. One more explitive and it might be a world record!” Moonbin exclaimed in mock enthusiasm. Minhyuk just shoved his shoulder and muttered something along the lines of a ‘fuck off’.

 

If there’s anything else that might distract Moonbin from the crumbling world around him it was Minhyuk. His laugh, chirpy and well spent, never ceased to lift his spirits. His jokes and quiet stares always made him smile illicitly. He should read into it more - why he feels this way - but he doesn’t, and his heart remains intact. ‘ _It’s self-preservation_ ’ he’ll think - Minhyuk’s smile still wouldn’t dull.

 

”Oh, found it!”

 

-

 

Moonbin came out of his high exceptionally quickly. They had navigated through suburbs and had approached what were the remains of the motorway. Travelling underneath the suspended road is when they saw it. Uniform rows of bodies. Abandoned by the military, some were covered with dirty white blankets, although, most were left exposed to the elements. It was horrific.

 

Beside him Moonbin noticed Minhyuk shaking. He stared with trembling arms at the remains of what were once citizens, _people_. With widened eyes Minhyuk noticed something. A collection of burned bodies with charred skin. They were placed at the end of the line - no blankets afforded to cover them.

 

” _God_... that must be-“

 

“Yeah. Yeah, it’s...” Moonbin felt the bile rise up his throat.

”Let’s keep moving.” He averted his eyes.

 

-

 

They were a couple of streets out, yet a problem stood in their way. The rendezvous was in an old church, towards the center of the abandoned part of the city, a few miles out from the quarantine zone. It was far to travel but  Moonbin and Minhyuk were spurred on by the prospect of their reward. Though it seemed, no matter how much determination they may have, it wouldn’t get them through the crumbling skyscraper in their way. Part of the foundations had collapsed and now the road was undeniably blocked.

 

Minhyuk muttered a graceful ‘fuck’ under his breath and Moonbin sighed for the nth time that day. It couldn’t be helped, so they were forced to go through a department store that _might_ take them around the wreckage.

 

"Fucking hate kids.” Minhyuk muttered venomously. The department store had a large kids section, they were currently wading through rotten toys and faded puzzle pieces. Minhyuk picked up a browning elephant plushie and proceeded to throw it across the room. Bin’s eyes followed the toy wearily and he winced when it make a loud squeaking noise as it landed. Although, the toy wasn’t the only thing that grabbed his attention.

 

Just behind where it had landed lay a body. Tore apart limb from limb, burgundy blood coated the area morbidly. Scratch marks featured on the areas that weren’t totally unrecognisable. Moonbin felt sick. He tapped Minhyuk on the shoulder lightly gesturing to the red scar that stood out in the corner. 

 

Carefully advancing the pair didn’t say a word. Moonbin dipped two fingers into the pool of blood and watched as a red stain quickly appeared on his fingers.

 

”It’s not that old...” His sentence died silently. Moonbin took a breath in, to say something more, but he was cut off abruptly by a loud, inhuman shriek further into the store. The pair shared a glance. _Clickers_.

 

A mass of rotting bodies, all twitching, were slowly advancing towards them. Great fungi had grown out of their faces leaving only pointed teeth and twisted necks - all resemblance of humanity gone. It was a well known fact clickers couldn’t see from the overgrowth of fungi in their faces, but they could hear you.

 

Minhyuk whirred into action. Treading with light feet he moved behind a display case, wide eyes watching intently as the clickers paced around him. Moonbin stayed stock still. The haunted bodies crept closer and closer still. His breath was caught in his throat. One stopped just short of his position. High pitched clicking coming from within it’s throat 

 

From the corner of his eye he could see Minhyuk rearing his pistol, sights aimed directly at the _thing_ in front of him. Moonbin gave him a stern glance. ‘ _Hold back_.’ 

 

He didn’t listen.

 

The room moved in a blur. Bright flashes permeating Moonbin’s eyes as he moved on autopilot. The cold weight of his revolver reassured his hand as he aimed, and fired. He could hear Minhyuk’s yelps of pain amongst the blur but his mind was hazy, and his actions automatic. Dark, dark, red, _loud_ , run, run, light, air.

 

A door slammed behind him and he was graced by the image of Minhyuk, severly bloodied, but alive. 

 

“Well,” He took a deep breath, “that happened.” Minhyuk chuckled soullessly and Moonbin gathered him up in his arms, appreciating the warmth of his skin and the tickle of his hair against his cheek.

 

-

 

 “So... this is it.” Minhyuk sighed, his voice laden with exhaustion. In front of them it stood, broken with age and blanketed with moss but _there._ Moonbin felt his shoulders slump and exhaled wearily. They made it.

 

Minhyuk pushed the heavy wooden doors open and let out a choked sound.

 

”Nonononono, _fuck_.” Several bodies lay on the floor, adorned with bullet wounds and decorated by blood. Minhyuk ran to them, running his hands along their sides and searching for something, _anything_ that would make it all worth it. Moonbin dragged his hand across his face and let out an exasperated sigh.

 

”C’mon Hyuk, they’re dead. Let’s go.” He reached out to put a hand on Minhyuk’s shoulder but he pulled away quickly.

 

”Don’t!” He yelped. “Don’t touch me.”

 

Moonbin furrowed his eyebrows. Minhyuk was slowly backing away from him. Looking feeble he bit his fingernails. 

 

“What the fuck?” Bin advanced towards him cautiously. He was worried, but his voice sounded more annoyed, angry.

 

”This is the end of the road for me.” Minhyuk said. Moonbin didn’t understand. What was he saying? At least, he didn’t understand until Minhyuk rolled up his sleeve and revealed a bite mark, perfectly fresh, with neon red blood oozing from the teeth marks.

 

” _Jesus Christ_.” Was all Moonbin could manage - he backed away from his best friend.

 

“Our luck had to run out sooner or later, right?” His voice was shaky and tears started dripping down his cheeks. Blood dropped from his forearm and started gathering on the floor.

”Now, I need you to go back to the quarantine zone-“

 

”Minhyuk.” Moonbin started walking towards him.

 

 “Talk to Myungjun, he will-“

 

“Minhyuk, no.” He gathered the boy up in his arms - he was shaking. Tears came fast then, as he sobbed into Moonbin’s shoulder. Bin was terrified. He had twenty-four hours until his best friend, one who had been by his side for seven years, would lose his mind right in front of him. Minhyuk pulled away hesitantly.

 

” _Shit_. Last words, okay, last words Binnie.” His words were trembly and came out in clumps.

 

”No, c’mon Hyuk, no.” He cradled Minhyuk’s face between the palms of his hands using his thumbs to wipe the tears off his cheeks. He just smudged the dirt on his face even more.

 

” _Last words -_  Binnie, let me have this.” He inhaled a shaky breath.

”Okay so, I love you. Let’s start with that.” Bin was crying now.

“And I mean, for real. No bullshit ‘best friend’ shit I am- I am _in love_ with you." He smiled and looked at Moonbin with sincerity in his eyes.

" _God_ , that felt good to let out." Bin was silent, listening with intent as Minhyuk opened his heart.

"You're so beautiful Binnie, you know that? Fuck, this is dumb but I could die looking at your- at your stupid ass face right now." Moonbin chuckled soulessly at this, salty tears and grit getting into his mouth. Minhyuk's breathing was becoming laboured and he could only talk between sobs.

"I need you to- I need you to get out more. I know you like nature and all that gross poetic shit so like, get a house outside the quarantine zone - because,” He gasped for breath.

”because I know you’ll love it.” Slowly Minhyuk calmed down. His grip around Moonbin’s waist lightened and he started to pull away.

 

”Wait Minhyuk, what-“

 

”I know you don’t feel the same. It’s okay, but it’s all out now.” Moonbin watched as he reached into his back pocket. The glint of metal from his gun triggered Moonbin’s thoughts. Minhyuk slowly put the weapon up to his temple.

 

”Hyuk, wait - don’t!”

 

-

 

A trail of blood followed Moonbin as he walked, dripping from the blown-in head of the body that was on his back. He walked slowly, almost stumbling, as the dead weight on his shoulders slowed him down. In the distance shrieks could be heard, loud and full of menace. Moonbin didn’t care.

 

Of all the pains worse than death, watching someone you love die before your eyes as you lived, was incomparable.

**Author's Note:**

> :)
> 
>  
> 
> [twitter](https://mobile.twitter.com/cafespjw)


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